God’s Kingdom vs. a kingdom of my own making
Blog post by Matt McCoy
5 minute read
As a Christian, I believe living in God’s Kingdom is better than living in a Kingdom of my own making. But life’s challenges have this consistent way of inviting me to stop living in God’s Kingdom, and instead tempt me to do what seems right for myself. You know, “If it feels good, do it” or “it seems right to me to…” or maybe “Any reasonable person in this situation would…”
Before we go any further, let’s compare “God’s Kingdom” with “A kingdom of my own making”
We’re defining “The Kingdom of God” as the union between heaven and earth.
Living in God’s Kingdom means we’re walking in the direction Jesus is walking in and our lives are animated by the Holy Spirit. This was how we were created to live. And our best life is found within God’s Kingdom.
By contrast, “a kingdom of my own making” is when I decide to do things my own way.
God doesn’t force us to do anything, but instead invites us to voluntarily give up our inclination to decide good and evil for ourselves. The Bible, and life, is full of examples of people who do their own thing: the toddler who announces…
“you’re not the boss of me!”
The businessperson who claims, “I’m self made.” You and me when we judge, resent, envy and shame. We look at the direction Jesus is walking in, and we choose a different path.
With this contrast in mind, it’s curious to me how life’s challenges are an invitation to do what seems right for myself.
This is why Hannah is such a good case study for us. Hannah was in the midst of an impossible situation, and she didn’t respond by creating a kingdom of her own, but instead chose to stay living in God’s Kingdom. As you read the story this time, try to notice the challenges that are coming Hannah’s way.
1 Samuel 1
So there was this guy from Ramathaim-Zopphim, from the hill country of Ephriam , and his name was Elkanah (lit: God has possessed) the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an ephraimite. And he had two wives: the name of one is Hannah “Grace” and the name of the other is Panina “Jewel.” Panina had children, but Hannah had no children.
Now this man went up from his city at all the appropriate holidays to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of Angel Armies at Shiloh. And there were the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phineas, who were priests of the Lord.
And on the day Elkana made his sacrifice, he gave to Panina his wife and to all her sons their portions of the blessed meat. But to Hannah he gave the best cut of the blessed meat, because he really loved her, even though the Lord had closed her womb.
So that woman bullied and harassed her, just like she always did, because the Lord had closed her womb. That's the way it happened, year after year. Whenever she went up to the house of the Lord, that woman would bully her. So Hannah wept and would not eat.
Then Elkanah said to his wife Hannah, “Why are you weeping? And why aren’t you eating? Why are you heartbroken? I know you don’t have kids, but aren’t I more than enough?”
Then Hannah stood up after eating and drinking in Shiloh, and Eli the Priest was sitting on the seat of honor by the doorpost in the Temple of the Lord. Her soul became bitter, and she prayed and prayed to the Lord while she wept and wept. She swore up and down and she said, “Lord of Angel Armies, if you’ll take a good hard look at my pain, if you’ll quit neglecting me and actually do something about this, and give me a son, I will give him to you completely, unreservedly, and I’ll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.”
And she went on multiplying her prayers before the Lord, and Eli observed her mouth. Because as Hannah was praying in her heart, her lips were moving, but no voice was heard. So Eli figured she was drunk. And Eli said to her, “How long will you keep on being drunk? Sober up and be done with your wine!” But Hannah answered, “No sir! I am a woman with a broken heart, I’ve not drunk a drop of wine or beer. The only thing I’ve poured is my heart to the Lord. Do not take me for a bad woman; my great sorrows and terrible situation is why I’m still here praying.” So Eli answered, “Go in peace. May the God of Israel give you what you have asked of him.” And she replied, “I hope you see the way God blesses me.” Then she went on her way, ate a good meal, and she looked like her joyful self again.
So now, let’s look at 4 specific challenges that Hannah faced…
and use those challenges to compare “God’s kingdom” with “a kingdom of my own making.”
God has the ability to give you, well, almost everything. Is there something you want that God isn’t giving you? Hannah shows us how, when we’re living in God’s kingdom, we respond with prayer as she “prayed to the Lord while she wept and wept.” When I feel overlooked by God, I tend to pray less as I grow in frustration, anger, and resentment. Which is a kingdom of my own making.
Is there something you want, that someone else in your community has, and you feel like they are taunting you with it? Have you ever compared yourself to someone else and then felt inadequate? Hannah shows us how, when we’re living in God’s kingdom, we respond with prayer, we respond by continuing to eat and drink, and we keep walking in the direction God is walking in. When I feel pathetic, weak, or powerless, I pray less and I avoid eating with the people who make me feel that way. Which is a kingdom of my own making.
**Note: The bible in general, and this story in particular, does not advocate staying in an abusive relationship. Loving our enemies does not include making ourselves available to be harmed and abused by others. Ever. The story of Hannah, every other Bible story, and every blog post I write stands against abuse. If this distinction seems unclear, let’s chat about it.
When you are suffering, do the people in your community sometimes try to comfort you in ways that aren’t comforting? Hannah shows us how, when we’re living in God’s kingdom, we respond with prayer when we’re too bitter to be a part of the community. I also love how, at the end of this section of the story, Hannah shows us how God’s kingdom gives us the freedom to rejoin the community before we see if our prayers are answered. Because when I feel like my community is missing me, I tend to pray less, and I tend to withdraw from everyone, even the people who love me the best. Which is a kingdom of my own making.
Have you been hurting, and felt like your pastor misunderstood you? Hannah shows us how, when we’re living in God’s kingdom, we respond with honesty. Sit with that for a second. Hannah’s priest accused her of being drunk at the moment she was pouring her heart out to God, and she replied with honesty. God was using Hannah, who was mostly invisible to Eli, to disciple this priest and show him how to live (remember Ruth’s story from last summer???) When I felt like my pastor misunderstood me, I responded with anger, with lashing out at my pastor, and getting a Masters in Divinity from Regent College. Two out of three of those was a kingdom of my own making; the third one was done because everyone in my community told me to do it and I finally quit resisting.
So, to summarize and conclude: