I can’t do this by myself
Written by Emma McCoy
4 minute read
Asking for help is something that comes very naturally to children. They’re small, uncoordinated, and the world is fast, large, and confusing. Children need help tying their shoes, cutting up their food, and reaching the sink. They also need help to learn how to speak, read, and write. And although parents and caregivers try their best to anticipate a child’s needs, sometimes it isn’t until a child goes, “help!” that they become aware of a specific problem.
In an interesting twist in child development, toddlers often go through a phase where they want to do everything themselves, without help.
“I do it myself,” is a common refrain.
Although it would be much easier if a parent helped open the door, zip the jacket, or put on socks, the child wants to gain independence and do it on their own. But even throughout this phase, the child still learns while knowing that they do need to ask for help to be successful.
Asking for help, something that comes easily in childhood, is a skill that is lost in adulthood.
Adults don’t want to seem ignorant or stupid. Asking for help means admitting you don’t know the answer.
Even beyond that, asking for someone to teach you a new skill means humbling yourself and being open to learning. That humble posture can be incredibly difficult to take if an ego gets in the way.
In my sophomore year of college, I wanted to get more serious about my writing. I noticed that one of my professors was widely published in literary journals and had several books of poetry. She seemed to know what she was doing. I didn’t know how to go about submitting my writing anywhere, or how to write a cover letter, or what the first step would even be. Even though my professor is an approachable person, I still didn’t want to seem ignorant or less of a writer. Finally, one day I approached her (over zoom, after class) and asked her what I needed to do to publish in literary journals.
I’m so glad I did! If it hadn’t been for my professor, I wouldn’t have known about things like addressing editors in a cover letter, or looking for submission guidelines, or keeping a spreadsheet of submissions. I certainly wouldn't have known how to put together my own poetry book. At the time, all this information looked like a miracle. But looking back, I can see it all started because I asked for help.
Prayer does something really similar. Although God desires our good and our flourishing, he will often wait until we come to rely on him and ask for help. Matthew 7:9-11 (NIV) reads like this:
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Like a parent, or a knowledgeable professor, God is waiting for us to ask for help so he can help us in ways we can’t even imagine.
Look at the stories we’ve been visiting: the woman at the well, the woman caught up in prostitution, the paralyzed man, and the boy with the unclean spirit. These people talked with Jesus, and demonstrated their faith.
They said, “I can’t do this by myself.” They asked for help.
Through this series, we’ve been going over the truth that Jesus and uncommon friends are guiding me towards his transformational love. All of the stories that I’ve just named are about unexpected people who were overlooked by their communities. Jesus, through them, guided the crowd into experiencing what his transformational love is like.
So what does that have to do with asking for help?
Participating in what the Holy Spirit is already doing isn’t easy. Being aware of unexpected and uncommon friends doesn’t happen on its own. And joining in life with unexpected friends isn’t in the “normal” of everyday life. This means we need to ask Jesus to help us be aware of where our uncommon friends are. We need to ask him to add more of the “not normal” so we can participate in what the Holy Spirit is doing around us.
Asking might not come naturally. That’s okay. What’s not okay is never trying because it’s uncomfortable.
Walking in the direction that Jesus is walking in isn’t comfortable, but it is joyful. By praying the prayer of, “Jesus, help me to see what my uncommon friends might be doing this week. What am I missing out that you have for me?” you will become more and more aware of how God might be trying to draw you, and others, deeper and deeper into his love.
Corresponding Videos
